We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
