I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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