I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
