Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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