Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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