I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
