Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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