when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize