Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
