So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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