absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
