Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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