I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
