did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
