fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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