I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
