Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
