Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
