Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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