Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
