just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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