So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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