Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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