My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
