You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He has the fingertips of a God
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