Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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