the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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