so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
