Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
