he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
