I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
