just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
