5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize