Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
