we made out on top of his cat.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize