I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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