I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Come on in and take your pants off
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