she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am available for nakedness
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
