I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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