well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We need to get me chipped asap
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize