If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
farters have to be the big spoon...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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