So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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