Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
