i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
