I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
