my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
