i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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