PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
