I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
