so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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