shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize