I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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