But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize