Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
