I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
