Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
