"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
